The World According To Gavin
25-11-2003
Well, it's been a wee while since my last update.... what has happened? We moved house (fantastic choice - as we are now free! ;)), I've been made a permanent resident (stuff you, Mr McMichael!), and Kimberley and I are happier than ever. :)
Also, I've found a webcam slot on the Internet that covers Milton Keynes, so I can visit my old home town whenever I feel like it. For example, here are the (in)famous concrete cows!
More to follow.
29-10-2003
Ali G translator - and others available once you've tested it. I found this today. It's wicked, innit?
Instructions:
Enter your text into the box on the screen and click on translate.
24-10-2003
Now, it may seem that I'm a whining POM (prisoner of the motherland), but for two things:
So, things are on the mend. Tensions run high and the young children in the two of us escape. It doesn't happen very often, to tell you the truth, but doesn't it happen in any relationship? Maybe not to the extent as in ours, but it happens nonetheless. If it doesn't then where is the passion or excitement?
When I was growing up, which some may well debate, I realised one very important factor in family life and general morale. IF you can keep the lady of the house, in this case my mother, happy, then everyone else will tend to be happy too. If not, then get ready for the ride, because if not, you'll be spun off the thing! ;) It seems to apply in any strong relationship.
One thing is for sure.... my family has a close and tight bond. This is even if we don't see eye to eye on certain issues. We are always there for one another when needed, regardless. That is a fantastic feeling, knowing that you will have moral support when needed, second opinions or even the flip side of the coin. Family is key.
21-10-2003
Gavin has done it again! Faux pas city. So, I guess that I need to have my head examined, my driving skills honed to an adequate standard for Canada and I need to grow up. That's it, in a nutshell. Well, let's see if we cannot find a psychiatrist, an advanced driving school and perhaps hypnotherapy to help the child stay hidden so that whatever residue of an adult can emerge.
I'm not too sure how long these perceptions of me have been around, but they are very evident now. So much so, in fact, that I have to take action to get something done about it all.
Work is going well, with business slowly finding its way into the Canadian office, rather than relying solely on English feeds. Hopefully we'll all be able to face a brighter future with the forthcoming new year. Lots of things are under way to help ensure that we start next year on the right foot, and in the right direction.
09-10-2003
Guess who has insomnia? Yep! Me. It's almost 2am on this fine Thursday morning, in this last week of summer in Canada. It was 26°C yesterday, and the weather for the next few days has been predicted to be in the same area. They call it an Indian (North American Indians, naturally) Summer. God only knows why, but they do!
08-10-2003 - Work Permit
I've been checking the post hoping that there is something in there from immigration that will detail when I'm able to go to Windsor to become an official permanent resident in Canada. So, you can probably imagine the smile on my face when I saw a letter from Canadian Immigration and Customs this morning. However, I opened the letter and there was one piece of paper in it. A certificate, much like my visitor record that gave me 12 months in Canada as a temporary resident. This one was different though because it had the words "Work Permit" emblazoned across the top left. BONUS! Now I can officially work in Canada.
Looks like the company that I work for in England is now going to officially expand into Canada. We just need to look at the legalities, tax breaks, etc, of being a UK based company branching into Canada. Whichever is cheaper and better for us will be the route that we'll be taking. :)
06-10-2003 - Immigration
With all of the recent events, and work, I forgot to mention my immigration news. Last Monday I received a letter from Canadian Immigration and Customs notifying me that they have made a decision on my immigration application. The great news is that I have met all requirements, along with Kimberley, who sponsored me, to become a permanent resident in Canada. The not so great news? I have to stump up $975 CAD when I go to CIC Windsor for my appointment to have all of the relevant documentation, stamps and whatever else. Unfortunately they haven't called yet. However, this is all on a positive note. I'm hoping that they'll be able to issue my work permit at the same time so that I can focus a little bit more on developing and expanding the business from England to Canada. They have such a requirement for IT professionals that I cannot see that company not doing well, especially in the area that we reside. ;)
04-10-2003 - In Loving Memory
It isn't very often in life where words fail me, but today is one of those times. I learned today that a very good friend's mother died, quite unexpectedly. Now I'm just sat here in a flood of emotions. One might think "Your friend's mother? Why are you quite as upset as you are?" Well, to make a point, Hilda was one of my school teachers. Probably the only teacher who fully understood who I am, and treated me with the respect that I gave back. Someone who wasn't just a teacher, but more of a mother figure.
So, here I am sat in a flood of tears trying to compose myself. Just thinking back through time and trying to put my thoughts into words. Hilda will be sorely missed by so many people. As stubborn as she was, she had a heart of gold which always shone through. I was always made to feel welcome, and the smile with which I was greeted each and every time we met was outstanding. Such enthusiasm, vitality and joie de vivre. She leaves two sons, Nigel and Richard, together with seven grandchildren: Shaun, Star, Liam, Amber, Keavy, Thor and Angel. It is such a shame that she won't be able to see them all grow up, but she will be remembered with so many happy thoughts and fond memories.
Today is one of those days where one realises that life is a vicious circle. Angel, being born in April, and Hilda departing today, Saturday, 4th October, 2003. In my mind I think that I will be reminded of Hilda every time I see young Angel, which is a good thing. Just putting things down in black and white seems to help me deal with this. I can only begin to imagine what the whole family is going through. If I'm taking this so badly, then how on earth can they be feeling?
We'll have to see if I can make the flight back to England in time for the service. I can't promise anything, but will see what can be done.
I have to leave it at this for now..... my mind is geting more organised and clear.
04-10-2003 - Life
The lesson that has been re-iterated today is that life is short. Nothing in this world can be predicted. Every chance and opportunity should be taken, for if you don't take it, when it is presented, then it may be too late. No-one can fully predict what is going to happen tomorrow, or even 10 minutes from now, except possibly for the telly schedule, but even those are subject to change......
Doesn't it just make one think that those one cherishes and holds close to one's heart aren't going to be here forever? What about my own parents, who have always been there for me, through the good, the bad and anything else that both I have, and life has, thrown at them? Today I tried calling and couldn't get through on either landlines or mobiles. Just a slight element of insecurity crept into my head and I just need to hear their voices to know that they are okay. Especially as Dad has just returned from a week's work in Brazil. I'm concerned, but will just have to wait until tomorrow so that I can speak with them.
26-09-2003
Okay, so I have to admit that it bugged me since Wednesday about the IQ test. I honestly felt less intelligent and it had been weighing on my mind. So much so, in fact, that I took it again this morning and got a more satisfactory result. A respectable 158. That's what we're talking about. Not being one to brag, but I was absolutely gutted with the last result given the history.
Anyway, here is the result IQ test results for anyone that would like proof. (Together with a link to the site, should you wish to take the test yourself).
Cheers!
24-09-2003
IQ tests - what do they mean?
So, I took an impromptu online IQ test today. 32 questions, about 10 minutes, a little distraction and quite tired. However, I'm guessing that the results are somewhat accurate? Who can tell? What I can say is that I was disappointed.
As a child, of under 10 years of age, I was sent to a child psychologist and took an IQ test. I got a reasonable 156. That's not bad at that age. The nice thing was that the psychologist said that I'd only get better.
Fast forward to when I was 19 and I sustain a brain injury. No injury to the brain can be any good and I underwent several different scans and tests before getting any compensation from the person responsible.
Anyway, my result today was a measly 145. How gutted am I? VERY !@#&*(! gutted, to say the least. I'm supposed to be nearing my prime. They said that when I was in my 30's I would reach my peak.
What does this mean? Is the test real? Is the result real? To be honest, who cares, except for me, who needs to get back to where I was before.
22-09-2003
Well, the last week or two have really opened my eyes. Something chronic. It's ironic how I can harp on about communication being key to making things work, yet forgot to apply it to my own life. Kimberley and I seemed to have lost some of our communication skills since the wedding, and we had a rough week or so. Fortunately we both love one another very much and have the strength to renew our communication and pull through what would otherwise have been disastrous for our relationship.
Without going into too many details, we had the biggest fight of our life. I drove 900+ Km to "think about things" and then we had a very strange week. This resulted in calling a counselling centre so that we can iron out any little wrinkles that may still be there. It is so nice to know that we are back on track and that our relationship has only grown stronger through the experience.
Life at home is very good right now. I have bonded with Carter on a father-son level, which is wonderful. We didn't have this before, and now there is nothing but mutual respect and love. (Please don't throw up!) I'm just happy, Carter is happy and so is Kimberley.
Immigration seem to be getting closer to providing me with a permanent resident status, along with a work permit. We will have to wait a couple of weeks for an official government document to come through the post before I can submit my application for the work permit, but we are getting there! :)
This weekend Kimberley and I went out for a quiet pint. Saturday afternoon, at Paddy Flaherty's, we had lunch and a Stella Artois before heading off to Ups and Downs. Ups and Downs is supposed to be an authentic English pub. Whilst in there I was looking around. It was more Irish/American than English, with the toilets signed as "Rest Rooms", Budweiser signs and loads and loads of adverts for Guinness. Not very English, me thinks. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Kimberley told me of a pub that she'd seen advertised on telly. It was in Windsor, but had authentic hand pulled beer. So we went, through the US, to Windsor.
I walked into The Kildare House in Windsor and the smile on my face just grew and grew, and then grew some. It was like stepping into England, almost. Fan-bloody-tastic. We stayed for a wee while. In fact, we stayed so long that we ended up staying at The Nisbet Inn, another English establishment. They even had Newcastle Brown on tap! Outrageously cool.
Can you even begin to imagine how nice it was to be sat in a pub that had London Pride on tap and looked like it was in England? It was a house that had been converted to a pub. Traditionally English. At the B&B all of the menu items were English too, and the breakfast that we had was fantastic. I won't harp on, but I just need to say that anyone in need of a good pint, good atmosphere, wonderful bar staff and servers, combined with really pleasant and accommodating locals, should go to The Kildare House and stay at The Nisbet Inn. We only went to Windsor for one pint and ended up staying for almost 24 hours. Enough said? I thought so! :)
12-09-2003
I am my own worst enemy.
09-09-2003 ....hey! Even the yanks'll get this date! ;)
The trials and tribulations of being a child seem to have become more apparent to me today. We got called into the school for a discussion. It's amazing the things one learns about one's child from their school's perspective. Low and behold my theory of 'communication is key to almost everything' is proven right. Teachers, parents, step-parents and children all communicating..... well, perhaps with not so much participation of the child in this case..... but still, it works.
What I am harping on about here is too personal to actually write down in detail. It would harm those involved, so all I can say is I have learned, over and above all else, that if all of the adults concerned are able to communicate then the problem is nipped at the bud and will go away. Either that or we'll all die trying.
07-09-2003
Well, it as certainly been a long time since I've written anything up here. So much has taken place that it's almost impossible to know where to start.
Let's take it one step at a time. I've been in Canada since November 2002, and have crossed the pond just twice this year to spend just over 8 weeks in Europe, mostly Sweden, visiting my children. April led to a trip to Norway for the first time, as the cheapest viable route to get to Sweden. I spent half a day wandering around Oslo, which is quite a beautiful city, before venturing to Karlstad by bus. The unfortunate thing was that the bus station in Karlstad is the opposite side of the city from the hotel I used, so I had quite a long trek to cart my luggage. Oh well, c'est la vie! The next day I attended court and won access to Kyle and Ryan, for their sake rather than mine. The rest of the stay in Sweden was fantastic, for I had the boys stay with me a couple of nights and we saw each other every day. It was so wonderful to be so close to these lovely little boys whom I'd only dreamed of spending such quality time with again.
As you are no doubt aware, Kimberley and I married on 7th June, 2003 in Sarnia. It was a wonderful event, marred by just a few things. Kimberley's parents were nowhere in attendance, which I can't decide was a good or a bad thing. I know that them not being there didn't really affect the day, just showed poor faith and bad sportsmanship on their part. So be it. I'm not a malicious person, so can let sleeping dogs lie. However, I think that they were somewhat incensed that they couldn't make a difference, either by not being there or being there. They are but two people who care about money and themselves more than anything else. As I said... so be it. They will get their judgement day at some stage of the game and I will be there to cheer them on in whatever their turmoil be. Enough about them.
Moving forward to July, we spent the entire month of July in Europe, landing in London Heathrow on 1st July and leaving on 7th August. We had, on the most part, a wonderful visit to England, Norway, Sweden and Denmark. We spent almost an entire month with Kyle and Ryan, having just one or two days apart in the middle. Kyle and Ryan really warmed up to Kimberley after a bit of a shaky start. I told Kimberley that they only spoke Swedish, but realise that I should have said that Kyle and Ryan no longer speak English. It's all in the wording, but I'm prepared to accept the blame for that one. Anyway, the boys lack of spoken English, even though they fluently understand, caused stress for Kimberley who then has spent some time trying to learn Swedish. Rather impressively, I might add! She speaks it like a polska slampa from Stockholm, but apart from that she's doing just fine.
We managed to meet up with Anders and Johanna during our stays in Sweden. I say stays because we flew out of England twice to get there. My parents were wonderful in picking up the tickets to bring Kyle and Ryan back to England. Without their aide we would never have been able to afford to have Kyle and Ryan travel to England. This was something that they needed as much as we did, so that we weren't footing hotel bills forever. Maria was a wonderful help too. She is like a sister to me and when we were looking at car hire costs we had two choices.... hire a car or buy one for Maria that we could use whenever we were in Sweden. Bonus! We took the second option, Maria has a lovely Peugeot 205, and I feel good about something that I've done that made a difference to someone else, without the want of reward. The smile was more than enough!
The house in England is on the market. Someone PLEASE buy it. I need the money to make a start over here. It's a lovely three bedroom link-detached house in the heart of Milton Keynes. Any offers in the £180K region and I'd be very happy. It would enable Kimberley and I to cut the very last rope that her parents have looming above us - we'd be able to move out of the house that we are now in and have our own place. As I said earlier, enough about them. We have business plans, much of which I couldn't possibly go into on the Internet. Not until they are a reality. What I can say is that we have the potential financial backing once we have formulated a business plan. A lot of hard graft to do before hand, and a couple of visitors to Canada to enable us to commence, but apart from that, we are solid! (Doesn't sound like it, I know, but I'm raring to go! - just waiting for immigration to allow me to work in this wonderful country)
I think that I should sign off now, but watch this space........
19-11-2002
Just something to put a smile on someone's face :)
This weekend is booked and will be sensational. We've really lucked out on everything, normally for Gavin and I timing sucks but this round it's really worked out well. We'll be heading from Toronto when Gavin lands to Niagara falls for a well derserved, much needed romantic escape for just the two of us. Our room in the Chestnut Inn is the blue room :) you can check it out here if you're curious The Blue Room
and then we're off for a romantic dinner at Casa D'oro
I'm only including these links just in case there are other lovesick fools in the Niagara Region that want to have a fantastic time. I'll include another link where you can search for b&b's that might be more suiting to your needs.
Search here for a Bed & Breakfast
Anyway, I'm on Gavin's page and should be writing in my own.
Gavin, I love you more than I could ever imagine loving another, you are my bright light on a dark day, you're the colours of my world, you're the warmth of the sun kissing my cheek, you're the crisp cool air tickling my chest with every deep breath... you Gavin, are not a "stupid, No-hope, Englishman" we still have each other so I'm guessing we still have it all... Know that I love you sweetheart.
your Kimberley :)
2002-05-28
Mr. Gavin Smith...
Did you know that...
I feel as though I need you (us) more than I need the air we breathe?
I want you more than I ever thought it possible to want for anything?
I respect you more than I could ever, even my greatest mentor?
I will nurture your every emotion for as long as you'll allow me?
I feel exceptionally privleged to love you?
I feel this awesome, overwhelming sense of appreciation when I hear you whisper that you need me?
I love being with your Kyle and your Ryan and have been cherishing the special moments I was so lucky to have spent with them?
I feel absolutely and undeniably over the moon knowing you love me scars and all?
I loathe when I feel like I'm adding to OUR worries instead of helping them to subside?
I feel simply awful when you're feeling terribly lonely and frustrated with these days, especially the days as of late?
I feel this unforsakeable need to better myself for you, for me, for us, for our children?
I feel this uncontrolable desire when I'm around you?
I feel this hungering sensation when I think of you?
I still get goosebumps when you touch me?
I still feel like a schoolgirl with her first love wondering if he'll kiss her?
I still want us to be together for always -- until you're pushing me in a chair or I'm hiding your medications or better yet hiding your teeth? *S*
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside when a fleeting thought of you passes through my mind?
Your smiling eyes will always tell me how much you and I are in love and that my eyes will only smile that special smile, for you and our children?
Mr. Gavin Smith...
More over...
Did you know..
That...
I love you with every bit of me, my heart, my mind, my body, my soul... My very essence...??
well if you don't, then smarten UP!!!! Stupid. :) *Ducking*
Because Gavin M.W. Smith :) I love you, all of you. And that will never ever stop unless you tell me you don't love me anymore and even then, I'll always love you.
I hope your day starts off as lovely as my evening ended. I'll have nothing but sweet thoughts of us to carry me through this day. I wish you the same.
I do love you Gavin, very much so.
and I will always be....
your Kimberley xxxx/oooo
P.S. Did you know I love your middle names... both of them *S*
2002-01-21
Hand of friendship
I sometimes wonder "Why bother?" when you get it back in the face that maybe your take on things is different from someone else's but isn't openly accepted, without condition. Perhaps I am wrong.
I seem to have been last week, but I have no idea. I was asked today why I write things down. It is so that I remember them. When so much is going around in one's head sometimes things can get pushed to one side and become forgotten. Perhaps it is wrong, perhaps it is right. Who knows?
2002-01-17
STILL HAVING A BAD DAY
Hopefully it will blow over.
2002-01-17
Motivation
What is the point? I have lost the motivation today. Yesterday was a terrible day
Is it, therefore, unreasonable to have lost motivation?
2002-01-05
Engaged to be married
Picture this.... London Gatwick airport, Tuesday, 9th October, 2001 around midday.
A lone Englishman waiting at the South terminal (I think it was south anyway) arrivals awaiting the most lovely person in the entire world. I was that man, sat there having seen that the flight from Toronto had already landed ahead of schedule. This was going to be one of the most spectacular and most precious moments of my life, second only to the birth, happiness and love of my two boys, Kyle and Ryan.
I was sat there pondering on whether or not to buy some flowers for the first time that I were to meet Kimberley in real life. The choices were there to be made, and I decided that I shouldn't spend too much money and that I should try to find something that would last a long time and could be taken back to Canada on the 14th October with Kimberley. Most excellent: some silk roses. Perfect on all counts.
So, there I was perched on a seat right in front of the arrivals door. I didn't want to make it so obvious that I was meeting someone for the first time, or to show my anxiety, so I placed the roses on the chair beside me.
What seemed like an eternity, but in all reality was probably only about half an hour, a couple of ladies sat down beside me. They hadn't seen the flowers at first and almost sat on them, but then they realised. The flowers were picked up and admired. She thought they were real. Outrageous. She smelled the flowers and commented on how lovely they smelt. I passed on the information that they were in fact made of silk, but the smile on her face was quite special. I debated that they were for my girlfriend who was due through any minute, but she asked to keep them. Whilst debating I spotted Kimberley come through. This was so amazing. My heart melted and I had to fight back the tears of happiness whilst advising said lady that she could keep the flowers.
I almost ran over to Kimberley, who dropped her bags. We held each other and kissed for the first time. It was so amazing that I am not articulate enough to express even a snippet of how that felt, except to say that it was meant to be and that it felt as if we had been together forever.
That first embrace seemed to last forever. There was no one else in the airport. They had all long since faded into the distant background. It was just Kimberley and Gavin. Hang on a second. Reality check. We are in an airport and are probably the main cause of chunder at that very moment. Off to the car we go, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, smiling, grinning, beaming, like teenagers in love. It was so special and amazing.
With the flowers, I knew that Kimberley would not have expected any to have been bought, but they had. I told of the lady who I let have the flowers, and that meant more to Kimberley than actually receiving them herself. For there is another person in this world whose day had been brightened, and that the memory of Kimberley and I meeting will be in her mind every time she casts her eyes upon those immortal roses. They are as immortal as the love that Kimberley and I share.
I hope that your buckets are not overflowing right now. If so, please go and empty them to allow more room for further occurances of the chunder variety. Otherwise there might well be an almighty mess.
Fast forward to 15th November, 2001, Toronto airport, terminal 3. A late flight from Los Angeles. The plane landed, taxied to its stand and the doors opened. I ran off that plane, through immigration and to the arrivals. There was Kimberley waiting and I could not have run to her or dropped my bags quickly enough. Good job that I only carry hand luggage! Back into Kimberley's arms and wow! How amazing is that? Mmmmm.
Fast forward again, to the 29th December, 2001. For what seemed like an eternity has ended and Kimberley and I are back in each others arms in Toronto. That is so amazing. How is it possible to love someone so much that it hurts, a love that feels insurpassable, yet it grows each and every day? I am in Canada again, indefinitely, with the lady of my life. The most amazing person I have ever met. My best friend. My partner. My love. My life. The person whose very essence makes my heart warm, causes tears of joy to seep from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. What could I possibly have done in this world to have been graced with the gift which allows me to share my love and life with this wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, caring, sensitive, honest and loving young lady? Why would she want to allow herself to share with me? I am the most blessed person in the whole world right now, to be able to share with Kimberley. Words cannot even begin to express my feelings. Our feelings. Our love. Our happiness. Our.... us.... we.... Kimberley and I.
Now, I'm guessing that you probably need to take a break and empty those buckets. As for myself, I need to go and dry my eyes as the emotion that is welling through my entire body is far too much for me to hold back.
I am the happiest man alive today, and that is thanks to my Kimberley.
Gavin
PS. If you weren't aware, we are engaged to be married as of yesterday, Friday, 4th January, 2002.
2001-12-18
To shake or not to shake!
Austin powers voice:
2001-12-14
Last night
I left work early yesterday. 4pm to be precise. This was so that I could go see my elder son star in his first school play. He was to play the part of a cow....
4pm, off I set. Onto the M4 towards London. Motorways are supposed to be that much faster. Okay. The first 30-40 miles of the 100 mile journey seemed to pose no problem. Then came the M25. Bummer. It looks as if the M25 really is a car park. Fortunately I am on my bike, but the going is quite tough really, having to pay close attention to everything around you, for even the slightest mistake could cost me my life. We couldn't be having that, could we? Okay.... 100 miles, 1 hour and 50 minutes to do it in. Should be viable.... well, I got off the M25 at 5:15pm with 35 miles to go. Onto the M1. Awful traffic. No time to call ahead, as to stop would only impede my progress, so onwards I went.
After a most aggravating, relentless and unrewarding journey I arrive at the home of my children. At 6pm. BUMMER! They had already left. Okay. Thinking on my feet, head for the school and try to catch them. Got there. No family. Look for Kyle's classroom but he was nowhere to be seen, then I see the ex with my younger son, Ryan. I'd missed Kyle by 10 seconds. No more, no less. I'm GUTTED.
Not having a ticket meant that I couldn't get in to see the play, as the audience was full to capacity. Back to the family home and I get to see Kyle playing a cow on a video that was taken on Monday. Excellent. He was a star. *lol*
Back to the school for 8pm. Ryan and I went, he being in the push chair (that'll be a stroller to you foreigners who cannot understand the Queen's English!) and we go fetch Kyle. Now, Kyle was so pleased to see me that he jumped up into my arms and gave me a massive hug and a kiss, much like Ryan did when I saw him outside the school just after 6pm. Excellent. We go back, Ryan in the push chair and Kyle stood on the step at the back, me pushing. Back home and we play a little. Then it's a race to see who can brush their teeth first. Kyle wins, as usual, and then it's off to bed. Once Ryan was asleep I sneak out and head back to Newbury on the arduous 100 mile journey, get home and phone Kimberley's answerphone. It's late - almost midnight and I have an early start, so off to bed I go. Good night.
NB. Not a single mention of alcohol! More to the point, there wasn't any. Go figure! *smug grin* ;-)
2001-12-11
Drinking!
To quote:
| I am not an alcoholic I am a drunkard. Alcoholics go to meetings! |
2001-12-09
What do some of you people want from us?
OK, by now I think that it is blatantly obvious that Kimberley and I are an extremely serious item. When I say item, I mean a couple involved in an extremely strong, caring, trusting, loving and fantastic relationship. Two people separated by a pond that goes by the name of "The Atlantic Ocean". Nothing that some anti-septic cream cannot remove ;-)
Right, so why the devil am I writing a diary entry to state the obvious? Well, it is becoming increasingly more apparent that quite a following is amassing that wishes for the demise of the relationship that Kimberley and I have. We do not know why, nor do we care. We have one another and, quite bluntly if you cannot say anything nice then do not say anything at all.
The first real incident was last week, towards the tail end, whereby my loyalty and intentions were questioned. When I offered an honest, level-headed and very open opportunity to debate why these feelings were being aired I was cut off. The person lost interest in continuing the dialogue. Maybe this is because I know that they were not reading and understanding what I was writing. Perhaps they had a hidden and pre-set agenda that I wasn't playing along with. Do you really think that I'm just on here to play a game with Kimberley's emotions? Have I led anyone to believe anything other than the fact that we are in a relationship? I DO NOT THINK SO!
So, let us put this to the vote. Am I playing around with the affections and heart of the most wonderful young lady in the entire world just for the sake of it? Are you saying that Kimberley is not intelligent and perceptive enough to realise when someone is taking her for a ride. Anyone who has taken the time to get to know her and speak with her would surely know better, unless they have hidden agendas.
Why then am I almost incensed at the prospect that people are actually looking for information to pass over to the love of my life to discredit me? ie. krrylove guestbook entry dated 19th September, 2001. Why do you not just go take a look at M&M's guestbook, and everyone else's guestbook that I've taken the time to write in. How come it only seems to be myself who is under scrutiny and not the other way 'round. What are you actually saying here? Do you not realise that you are directly insulting Kimberley's intelligence? This ires me no end. I couldn't care less what you say about me, but when it comes to directly, or indirectly, as the case may be, attacking Kimberley then think again.
I defy anyone on this site to prove otherwise of our motives towards our relationship. As they say in church "Speak now, or forever hold your peace."
2001-12-09
Life is what you make of it......
On a more positive note.....
Life is what you make of it, and is full of choices................... You can enjoy and be happy, or you can hate and be miserable. You have a choice, and that choice will always play a vital part in what you do, who you are, and how others perceive you.
Gavin Smith - 31st May, 2000
2001-12-06
Not on the market for a partner
I am NOT single, nor am I looking.
Okay, storm out of here if you wish, but it might pay prudence to read on.
I was contacted today by an intelligent lady. Naturally I perused the profile of said lady and decided that she didn't have her head shoved up her arse so pursued a dialogue. When I made it clear that I indeed have a girlfriend I was asked, in no uncertain terms, why I should make an appearance on this site.
NOW.... correct me if I'm wrong, but the title of the site is just an apt title. The website is one of many that are found on the Internet. One that I frequent is http://www.lunarstorm.se. The problem there is that the site is in Swedish and many of my friends around the world do not know Swedish, so I resort to an English (or American - an approximation to English in the loosest sense) language site.
When I joined this site, some time in September, I was single. Just came on to meet people and have a laugh. As it transpires I have met some lovely people and am very lucky to have met the most wonderful lady who I now am able to call my girlfriend. Does this now mean that I must delete my profile and stop chatting on this site, merely because I am off the market?
Should I retire from this site, or has someone been affected, at some stage during their life, that makes me take on the resemblence of someone who might have once wronged them? I didn't think so either, but it does open up a can of worms for intelligent debate. Am I wrong? Should I leave? Is my new friend wrong? Is she being over sensitive? Regardless, I have altered my profile to state that I have a girlfriend, and that is that! :p *rasp*
2001-12-05
A few days out.....
...but I am back.
I wanted to begin with writing an essay to help conjur my thoughts and feelings following an almost traumatic event over the weekend, but feel that I might have been able to bring the whole matter to a conclusion through the act of forgiveness.
Gavin.
2001-12-05
Violation
Saturday was a wonderful day. 1st December 2001. Another 28 days before seeing Kimberley. A day at the races to look forward to. A Christmas party to attend. A boozy night the night before. A new month, an advent calendar, the countdown to seeing my children open their Christmas presents. Just 22 days before heading off to Sweden to see old friends and my children.
So, off to Newbury Racecourse, The Hennessy Cup no less, and £300 in my pocket. Money that I shouldn't really take but hey, what the hell. I have never gambled before in my life and I was with some new and dear friends. The only race I won was a five horse race on which I'd backed all five. Who cares about the money, I had the winning ticket. Magic. It's all in fun, and a great time was had by all, especially since Dariush lost £580, most probably all part of the Zand Plan.
Back to Newbury Town Centre and the Parisa, a nice little wine bar-cum-restaurant for a small bite to eat, a pint of bitter and a bottle of the finest 1995 Rioja. Most excellent.
Back home to get ready for the party, and boy did I deliver the goods, all thanks to a friend whom assisted in my attire. Magic. We have photos. Plastered. Off to the party, more money required. Who cares? Christmas comes but once a year and what is money if you can't enjoy it from time to time?
The party goes very well with any female displaying any interest whatsoever hearing about Kimberley in detail. Great. No predators. A rare thing anyway, but just incase, as to be unfaithful would an act displaying an utmost indiscretion and disloyalty. Great. All goes to plan. I get lathered and head for home unscathed, as one would expect of a Christmas party.
The following events are almost hazy, regardless of whether I wish to remember them or not. Nonetheless, they will stay with me for some time to come.
Okay, to the point. Violation
When one says "no", they mean "no". Whether they are laughing in a drunken stupor or not. It is still the same. Maybe not said with the same intonation or severity, but nonetheless the same thing.
There is always a fine line between horse play and violation. Between having a laugh and not having a laugh. Between feeling comfortable and uncomfortable.
The realisation that this line has been crossed can take a few moments to sink in. For one to realise "Hey! I'm not liking what is going on here". For one to think "No. I'm very uncomfortable with this".
More than that, I do not wish to say. Just give some room for debate. I would like to say that I am unharmed from this weekend's events physically, but have learned some facts in life that maybe no-one should have to, yet so many do.
Please know that my previous diary entry is correct, in that I have come to terms with this.
2001-11-27
Poor choice of words
It has been brought to my attention that there is an issue relating to my diary which needs to be urgently addressed. Please read on...
In the summary of my holiday I mentioned that Kimberley and I had spent a day and a half in a hotel room in Toronto . These words were poorly chosen and poorly used. Now, my intention was not to show any disrespect to Kimberley, nor to brag or gloat that we spent some time together, nor to air a conquest, as some have put it.
I am not going to delete or amend the diary entry because I feel that my mistake should be publicised so that perhaps others may learn from it.
What I should have said was that my travel companions decided to do their own thing in Toronto allowing Kimberley and I some time and space to catch up together. That is what we did. We spent time together. In fact, we had lunch in the Duke of Richmond pub, a welcome surprise for me. Especially since they served English ale! Magic!
On the Saturday evening we went to this most fantastic restaurant, with even better service, where we had lots of seafood. I mean LOADS of seafood.
I guess that my diary entry on relationships doesn't read terribly well as more than one person misinterpreted it. For that I can but apologise to all concerned.
If there is anything you would like to know, please ask.
Gavin.
2001-11-23
2001-11-23
World tour - 2nd - 19th November, 2001
Well, you could call it a world tour if flying round the world, travelling to seven different countries and four continents count. :-)
Friday, 2nd November, 2001 arrived and I awoke very early in the morning following a pre-holiday drinks session. First order of the day was to call my beloved Kimberley.
Okay - on to London Heathrow airport. We got there almost 4 hours before the flight to Tokyo. The check-in queue was huge, so we used the self check-in (hand luggage only, you see) and got to the bar in double time!
Got to Tokyo after about 14-15 hours and found the way to our hotel. This took quite a while and the hotel was nothing more than a Japanese YMCA, which was one of the very few traditional Japanese things that we actually saw. Everything else was more along the lines of things that you'd expect to see in an American city. More's the pity! I wanted some culture. Guess not! Oh well, after a couple of days we headed back to Tokyo Narita airport.
We had a couple of hours to kill at Narita so found another bar. Six beers later and it's time to board our Qantas flight to Sydney. Bonus, except that the air stewardess in my section had a bee in her bonnet and wouldn't serve me alcohol until the morning. This was also a most awful flight because the plane was, quite frankly, shite! No VDU in the back of the seat. Just one film - Planet of the Apes - which I saw on the way to Tokyo. Bummer. Nevermind. Got to Sydney airport and awaited my friend Troy, and his girlfriend Cath, to pick us up. 5 hours later and we hit the old gold mining town of Sofala, to the west of Sydney and the Blue Mountains. En route we stopped at the Blue Mountains to take the vertical train ride and the gondala back up. Fantastic. Just as I remembered when I was there in February.
Sofala is a small township nowadays with a population of just 72. This increased to 77 when we were there. Fantastic people and loads of beer to drink, so we were doing just fine.
The next day we drove a beautifully scenic route back to Sydney. When we got back we organised the Sydney Harbour Bridgeclimb, which was most fantastic. The next day I met up with some other friends in Sydney and got them drunk! Seeing as I'd been there before it was more of a social event for me. :-) My travel companions went off and did the tourist thing.
Late afternoon/early evening of the 8th November and we're in Sydney airport again waiting to board our Air Canada operated flight to Auckland. I am just so excited at this point - I have always wanted to go to New Zealand since being a young child and now I'm going to go there. 3 hours or so later and we get there. First order - BEER! Yep. Got through immigration, not too many septics, and I found the bar. Magic. This is now the early hours of the 9th November, 13 hours ahead of GMT. We then got to our hotel and I made phone calls to my beloved and my children. :-)
New Zealand is a most beautiful country. We hired a car and drove around the Coromandel Peninsula to a town called Ha Hei, which is not far from Hot Water Beach. We stayed in a family unit costing $110NZD or £30, which was a major bonus. NZ is just so cheap. Next we went to Rotorua, attended a Maori concert and Hangi feast, together with visiting the geo thermal village of Whakerewarewa - pronounced "fa-kay-re-wa-re-wa". Next day, 11th November, and onto Grade 5 white water rafting near Rotorua. This wasn't quite white knuckle inducing enough, so on the 12th, back in Auckland, I participated in my first tandem sky dive. 13,000ft to 5,000ft in 60 seconds. WHAT A RUSH! All I can say is that it was fantastic and that everyone should try it. We also took in some of Auckland's landmarks and scenery.
In the evening we had a fantastic meal and then got pissed with some Kiwis, who were most hospitable and accepted Doug and myself as some kind of long lost friends. Most excellent.
Morning of the 13th and we're back at Auckland International airport awaiting our flight to Nadi, Fiji. There were so many septics waiting to board that flight that I had to change my R1 t-shirt to the McShit one, just to rub their noses in it! Hahahaha! I loved seeing the looks on their faces as they read it. :-)
Arrive in Fiji and get collected from Nadi airport by some demon pretending to be the courtesy bus driver to our resort. Oh well, after stopping to see one of his friends en route we finally got to the resort and found our beach front suite. Magic. A very short stroll later and there was the bar. It would have been a travesty not to drink, so drink we did. All day.
Day two in Fiji and off we go scuba diving. 13 metres down and swimming with tropical fish. Most fantastic. Magic, even. I loved that. Not the same as sky diving in New Zealand, but different. The two don't compare because they are so different. After two dives we headed back to land and back to the resort. Then came the Kava - the Fijiian traditional drink. Very calming and very relaxing. Following a late night septic debate with Chris the travelling septic and into bed for 1:30am on Thursday, 15th November.
Daylight broke and we're up. 7:00am and off to catch the bus to the ferry to get to Beachcomber island. Excellent. Met an aussie couple who we got on very well with. Spent the day drinking, playing cards and generally taking things easy. Back to the main island and onto the resort, or so we thought. The bus broke down. Doh! An hour walk later and we are back with our aussie friends drinking in their spa pool and ordering cocktails by the main pool. 8:30pm and in a taxi to Nadi airport. LA bound this time. Well, there has to be a bad point about the holiday otherwise you would all be sick!
Flight leaves Nadi at 11:00pm on the 15th November. We arrive in LAX at 12:45pm on the 15th November after a 10 hour or so flight. Go figure! lol. Enough about LA, except for all of the security checks that we had to go through to depart the US to get to Canada. Toronto bound. Yes! I'm finally going to see my beloved Kimberley.
16th November, sat on the American Airlines flight bound for Toronto and we get called off. One of my companions had omitted to present himself for yet another security check meaning that everyone had to come off and be checked again. We finally arrive in Toronto and I run off the plane, through customs and into the arms of my Kimberley. Fantastic. The lads are almost 10 minutes behind me which gives Kimberley and I some "time". :-)
Toronto? What about Toronto? I saw a restaurant or two and my Kimberley. Nothing much else, except for one or two bars. Actually stayed sober-ish in Toronto, except for the Kava that I had brought from Fiji for Kimberley and I to try together.
Sunday, 18th November and Kimberley and I emerge from a day and a half in the hotel room to meet up with our friends. On to Niagara on the last day of our holiday. I am driving. Almost get there and we're doing 124kph. In an 80kph zone. Becoming a 60kph zone. There's a police speed trap on the side of the road. Guess what? Yep. I get pulled over!
Licence you say? What licence? Oh! That one! It's at home, in England. Would you like me to go fetch it for you? Oh.... here's my passport. You want proof of my address? That's in the boot! The what? The boot? The what? The boot... oh, that'll be trunk to you. I'm only speaking English, you know! :-)
So, we trundle to the back of the car and open the boot. I get a proof of address. The policeman looks at the address, looks puzzled, looks at me and says "This is too complicated. Off you go and keep your right foot a bit higher in future. Might be an idea to let your girlfriend drive on the way back." Magic! Let off a $700 CAD fine. Bonus! :-)
Niagara and I think that it's time for another flight, so up in a helicopter we all go to fly over the falls. Most excellent. We top it off with a splendid meal at the Hard Rock Cafe and then back to Pearson International to await the flight back to London. Kimberley and I say our farewells well away from the others. Time to board, onto the aircraft and YES. BA again. Excellent. Beats most other airlines that I've been on.
30 minutes sleep and 3,500 miles later and we're back in London at 6:20am on the 19th November. A Monday. Oh yes, it's time to go to work, so off we go, knackered but full with many wonderful and fond memories of the most fantastic and packed holiday that I've ever taken! I would thoroughly recommend it to anyone considering it!
Take care,
Gavin
PS. Notice that currencies mentioned are anything but US dollar. This is because the US currency is not the be all and end all of the world, as so many would like to think. *rasp*
2001-11-01
Relationships
A greatly misunderstood topic.... relationships.
What does it mean? Well, the all American online dictionary says: re·la·tion·ship (r-lshn-shp)
n.
2001-10-31
Getting it right
Americanisms always seem to get things turned around so that they mean completely the opposite of what is intended, or don't make too much sense:
For example:
2001-10-30
Bottom of the pile
I made it into Mr and Miss Blinddater. Infact, at one stage, both myself and my girlfriend were number one. Good job that we got a screenshot because that didn't last too long at all.
Now look at us.... both riding equal ninth, although, by the time you read this I'm sure that someone much better looking, with a better physique, will have overtaken me. Nonetheless, the moment of fame and glory was there.... NOT! lol.
You see, one has to take these things in the spirit that they are intended: lightly. In the words of the Big Breakfast (UK Channel 4 breakfast time show), "It's just for fun!".
Good luck with everything that you do. Enjoy life to the max, so long as your efforts are not detrimental to anyone else.
Gavin
2001-10-30
How to become Miss Blinddater
There must be a lot of ladies out there pondering on the question: "How do I become Miss Blinddater". Well, I think that, after seeing five such contests on this site, I have found the answer.
2001-10-24
Shallow ...and I don't like it.
"I am interested in meeting a man that can fulfill all my desires and needs! A man that is sensitive..."
I read this on someone's profile, and it is so indiginant to a lot of the profiles that one sees on this site.
I want this or fulfill MY desires or he must be this to please me - it's all me, me, ME. How selfish and/or shallow (choose either or both) are some of you people out there? Don't you realise that a relationship is not just about an individual.
I could rant and go on and on, but the chances of many people actually reading this are pretty slim, so I'll cut it here, except to say that certain people need to understand that the world does NOT revolve solely around themselves. Maybe they should just go and take their heads out of their own arses and see that there is a complete world around them.
2001-10-12
Did I mention the R1?
What can I say? This week has been bloody fantastic. Not only have I spent the most fantastic time with a most fantastic young lady, but I have finally purchased "THE BIKE". Add to that the time that I've been able to spend with my children, seeing them interacting with my new lady friend AND having the chance to spend time with friends and family and this week just gets better and better.
So, what does one do to deserve such gratuitous fortune? Beats me, for sure. All I know is that when you have a spell of good luck like this you *never* want it to end. In all honesty, though, I must prepare for it to end just in case.
I hope that I am not the only person who is sitting on top of the world. Well, to be perfectly honest, I know I'm not alone. ;-) You'll have to figure out who the other person I'm thinking of is, but you don't need to be a rocket scientist to suss it out.
Have fun. My very best wishes to anyone who has ventured into my diary!!!!!
Gavin
2001-09-29
Thoughts on Saturday....
I'm supposed to be visiting a friend today so that I can check out an R1 and decide on whether or not to buy it, but I'm having great difficulty actually getting hold of this friend, so I have some time to kill,
So, what should I do? Tidy up, play on here, or just chill? Beats me, but for now I'm quite content to type some, perhaps unimportant or uninteresting, stuff in my diary.
OK.... that's enough for now. The day has been quite good, except that I still don't have my mobile phone back, which is possibly a good thing. :-)
Whatever you are doing, wherever and whoever you are, take care and have fun.
Gavin
2001-09-28
Testing 1-2-3
Don't click ----->here<------
2001-09-20
Not a joke!!
The following was sent by Tamim Ansary. Tamim is an Afghani-American writer. Here is his take on Afghanistan and the whole current mess:
'We've been hearing a lot of talk about "bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age". Ronn Owens, on KGO Talk Radio, said that this would mean killing innocent people, people who had nothing to do with this atrocity, but "we're at war, we have to accept collateral damage. What else can we do?"
Minutes later I heard some TV pundit discussing whether we "have the belly to do what must be done". And I thought about the issues being raised especially hard because I am from Afghanistan, and even though I've lived here for 35 years I've never lost track of what's going on there.
So I want to tell anyone who will listen how it all look s from where I'm standing.
I speak as one who hates the Taliban and Osama Bin Laden. There is no doubt in my mind that these people were responsible for the atrocity in New York [not Gavin's view, as it has not been proven yet].
I agree that something must be done about these monsters, but the Taliban and Bin Laden are not Afghanistan. The Taliban are a cult of ignorant psychotics who took over Afghanistan in 1997. Bin Laden is a polital criminal with a plan.
When you think Taliban, think Nazis. When you think Bin Laden, think Hitler. When you think "the people of Afghanistan" think "the Jews in the concentration camps." It's not only that the Afghan people had nothing to do with this atrocity. They were the first victims of the perpetrators. They would exult if someone would come in there, take out the Taliban and clear out the rats nest of international thugs holed up in their country.
Some say, why don't the Afghans rise up and overthrow the Taliban? The answer is, they're starved, exhausted, hurt, incapacitated, suffering. A few years ago, the United Nations estimated that there are 500,000 disabled orphans in Afghanistan - a country with no economy, no food. There are millions of widows. And the Taliban has been burying these widows alive in mass graves. The soil is littered with land mines, the farms were all destroyed by the Soviets. These are a few of the reasons why the Afghan people have not overthrown the Taliba. We come now to the question of bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone Age. Trouble is, that's been done. The Soviets took care of it already. Make the Afghans suffer? They're already suffering.
Level their houses? Done. Turn their schools into piles of rubble? Done. Eradicate their hospitals? Done. Destroy their infrastructure? Cut them off from medicine and health care? Too late. Someone has already done all of that.
New bombs would only stir the rubble of earlier bombs. Would they at least get the Taliban? Not likely. In today's Afghanistan, only the Taliban eat, only they have the means to move around. They'd slip away and hide. Maybe the bombs would get some of those disabled orphans, they don't move too fast, they don't even have wheelchairs. But flying over Kabul and dropping bombs wouldn't really be a strike against the criminals who did this horrific thing. Actually it would only be making common cause with the Taliban - by raping once again the people they've been raping all this time.
So, what else is there? What can be done, then? Let me now speak with true fear and trembling. The only way to get Bin Laden is to go in there with ground troops. When people speak of "having to belly to do what needs to be done" they're thinking in terms of having the belly to kill as many as needed. Having the belly to overcome any moral qualms about killing innocent people. Let's pull our heads out of the sand. What's actually on the table is Americans dying. And not just because some Americans would die fighting their way through Afghanistan to Bin Laden's hideout.
It's much bigger than that folks. Because to get any troops to Afghanistan, we'd have to go through Pakistan. Will other Muslin nations just stand by? You see where I'm going. We're flirting with a world war between Islam and the West.
And guess what: that's Bin Laden's programme. That's exactly what he wants. That's why he did this.
Read his speeches and statements. It's all right there. He really believes that Islam would beat the West. It might seem ridiculous, but he figures if he can polarise the world into Islam and the West, he's got a billion soldiers. If the West wreaks a holocaust in those lands, that's a billion people with nothing left to lose, that's even better from Bin Laden's point of view.
He's probably wrong, in the end the West would win, whatever that would mean, but the war would last for years and millions would die, not just theirs but ours. Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden does. Anyone else? It is disturbing to see the misguided attacks within America on people simply based upon their heritage or religion. These are foolish acts as the people in this country of Arabic descent are productive citizens who were attacked as much as any other US citizen, their heritage actually makes it even more acute and painful to see as it paints everyone in a negative light when something like this happens. What needs to be addressed is the acceptance of the Islamic extremists into the nations of Islam, as their interpretations of the Koran certainly weren't in any version I have read. This should be the first step, the rejection of those responsible by the people they claim to represent, the true followers of the Moslem faith who are not directed to violence against anyone by their beliefs.
Tamin Ansary.'
2001-09-19
Life goes on
A lot of terrible and tragic things happen in this world. So many so that if we all took the time to dwell on them and grieve to the extent that they surely deserve, nothing would ever get done because we would be too busy grieving to ever accomplish anything ourselves. History is full of some horrendous and horrific events that possibly should still be remembered today. Acts of killing under the pretence of war, for example. Innocent people killing one another for the sake of political disagreements and disputes or religious wars over which God, if he/she exists, should be worshipped. What are the fruits of all of this killing and the associated grief? Unhappiness! Anger too, as I found out today rather surpisingly, albeit misguided anger deriving from shock, media hype and patriotism. Well, I must say that "Life goes on". You have to muster the strength that lies within each and every one of you so that you can get on with your own lives again. LIFE GOES ON regardless.
2001-09-12
A tragedy
Having seen the news yesterday, just before 3pm BST (GMT +1 hour), I didn't immediately realise how much impact an act of terrorism would have on the entire world. In January 1999 I visited Manhattan Island for 5 days and took the opportunity to walk at the feet of the World Trade Centre. Looking up to the top of the towers from the entrance was just breathtaking and awesome. Maybe that's why I find it hard to believe that they are no longer there. This attack has had a massive knock on effect. The lives of friends and family of the innocent victims have been affected in ways that I myself would never wish to have to come to terms with. This is no means to an end either. In London the security has been stepped up massively, and all flight paths have been changed so that no commercial traffic now flies over the city. Who would have thought that an attack on the United States of America would have such a global rippling effect? Maybe the minds of the conspirators had expected this. Who can tell? One thing is for sure: some good must come of the tragic occurrences of yesterday. I spent last night trying to rationalise the events of yesterday and came to just one conclusion: the world must unite. Not wanting to offend anyone, I heard George W saying that this was an "attack against democracy". I admit that the US is democratic, but only as far as the US is concerned. Take the global warming issues. The rest of the world is saying that we should reduce pollution and the knock on effect on the environment, whereas George W says that there is nothing that the US can do because it is not beneficial to the US. This is just my personal view, but I'm sure that others will agree. So, what am I harping on about? Bringing all nations closer together. A tragic event has occurred. To make good of this all avenues need to be explored and the very different countries and cultures of the world need to come together. United we stand, divided we fall. Do away with the superpowers and have a flat approach, very similar to flat management. The only people who will think that they are worse off are the superpowers themselves, but everyone else will be better off. I seriously apologise should anyone have taken offence at what I have written or of my views. This was not intentional.
Gavin