31-01-02
Okay... this I had to add to this page because it is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I'm pending approval from the lady that wrote this but I think it speaks volumes about what we, as women really want in a man. A REAL man that is :) *thinking thank god I've found my Gavin*
| Hmmm...my therapist said that I need to find a nice man to settle down with but my parole officer suggested I get out jail first. But since my 7 kids are begging me to find them a new daddy, here I am...
My dream guy won't hold open the door for me....you'll slam it in my face instead. I'd also prefer it if you never graduated high school since I like to be the smartest one in a couple. And God forbid that you lean over and pick up your dirty socks since you might break a sweat or something...leave that to me honey. And please don't have a job since I Iove coming home and seeing you sit on your ass in front of the TV watching football or the Man Show. And be sure to drink lots of beer while you're watching since beer breath and belching really turns me on... Oh, and please don't remember my birthday or send me stupid flowers for no reason since it really embarasses me and is only going to make me wonder what you did wrong anyway. And for God's sake, do not, under any circumstances, buy me that sexy stuff you see in those Victoria's Secret catalogs since I prefer my old Fruit of the Looms with the holes in them. Don't bother taking me out to dinner since I can make Hamburger Helper taste like a gourmet meal anyway.Why waste money on those things when it can be better spent on fishing poles and truck accessories? Oh, and I'll buy you that gun rack you want as soon as I get a free moment from the 3 jobs I'll be working to support you. And honey? Don't bother wearing nice clothes anymore to impress me since I prefer seeing you in stained wife-beater t-shirts and old boxer shorts. (yes, even the ripped ones) And I hate it when you wear cologne, unless its Old Spice, and then I'd rather you just wear it just when you have to go to court for yet another DWI. I really like that "manly" smell you have naturally, so forgo the deoderant too. Nah, my dream is to have you walk in and yell "baaaaaaaaaby, I'm home" just like Fred Flintstone did to Wilma. Of course, the Brontosaurus burgers will have to be substituted for chili dogs...Unless of course you killed another deer in which case I'll dress it and serve it up nicely. Would you care for a Jack Black straight up with that honey? And by the way, since all my money has to go towards bail, I can't afford a membership to this site, so messaging me through BD is a waste of both our time. If I'm still getting messages through BD, it either means you can't read (my kinda man) or you're too impatient to get to this part...lol..try this instead...*email address removed as it no longer works*....and if you're STILL a glutton for punishment, I jotted a few notes in my diary.... One last thing.....for God's sake, do NOT have a sense of humor since I really hate to laugh. It makes my eyes light up in the most annoying way......... |
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| Untitled Ramble Number One: Collecting my thoughts on a cool autumn day I gaze out my window and admire the leaves Swirling and twirling in a tender warm breeze Their myriad of colours sweeping the ground with a gentleness I recall your fingers sweeping my cheek with that same gentleness, As I stood before you, feeling myself being devoured, As your gaze fell upon me with a never felt before love and want As you tried to collect your thoughts Sharing thoughts as we exchange glances Thoughts of us. What should be? What will be? What can be? What has to be? Knowing our life together will be OUR life. The colours of my world will never be the same. You've shown me how to see life again. Knowing you're love for me is strong, As is my love for you As I feel my emotions float and spin, Just as the leaves beneath my window where it is cold. Inside the warmth will be felt for all my days As you, are my warm gentle breeze --kak
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Untitled Ramble Number Two: Looking out at the world, Trapped in my isolation Seeing loneliness everywhere, I've lost my inspiration I only have myself to curse I have only myself to blame I have only my foolish pride To blanket my shame Sitting here, as each day passes Aching to find the soul that breathes my name Searching for a real love, Trying hard to win this game Silent in my suffering I've locked myself away Wanting only for your happiness While sending you away I only have myself to curse I have only myself to blame I have only my foolish pride To blanket my shame Settling this night lost in my thoughts My heart beats out for you I know you're out there searching Endlessly for the one that's true To escape my own devastation Hoping you'll find the soul that breathes your name Finding a real love Winning this game --kak
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Untitled Ramble Number Three: I'm confused I'm ashamed I'm saddened by the way this world is turning. I want to soar high I want to reach the stars I want to change the way this world is turning I'm alone I'm scared I'm worried that this world will stop turning. I'll be a better person I'll give all I can give I'll help do all I can to keep this world turning... Into a better place A place where we can all smile A place where we can all love A place where we can all share A place like the heavens above A place where we can all care A place where we can all roam A place where we can all be safe A place we can all call home --kak |
1) Don't know that women experience this, but when you have had to go pee and have been holding it for a very, very long time. That feeling of release of finally being able to do so. At the moment, feels almost as good as sex. Now traveling as I have in the past, I know I am not the only man that has that sensation.
2) Sex, pretty much self explanatory. But at the moment of having sex,going pee doesn't feel anything like this. Now after five or six times in a 24 hour period. Well maybe.
3) That feeling right after having a good couple of sneezes (something I have way too much experience with lately).
4) Now this might be just me (and again I have experienced way to much of this lately), but I love it when I have a fever, crawl into bed, the bed is freezing, but after a few minutes of shivering, the bed is at the most perfect temperature. Only lasts for seconds, but ohhh, those seconds, how wonderful. Almost worth being sick, just to experience. Just asked my daughter about this, she doesn't experience it. Might be just me.
5) Belching, now this is one of those things that few women really ever truly experience the great feeling that can come from this. My ex, had one true experience once. We were eating at ChiChi's, a Mexican restaurant. She belched unexpectedly, and I don't mean burped, she woke up the whole building. She never excused herself or anything. I could tell by the look on her face that she finally understood. (oh, and I don't go around belching, not that sick, but a good one now and then, well).
6) Now Scarlet was the only woman I know of that could get by talking about farts in a movie, of course she called them "the vapors" but still she seemed to enjoy them. Maybe she should have been fanning another part of her body instead of her face ( oh, and again not something I go around doing either). Another thought, maybe that was what the title "Gone with the Wind" really was about.
7) Puppy kisses, now who can turn down puppy kisses? Kitten kisses just aren't the same.
8) Real Dutch chocolates as they evaporate in your mouth (well, just speaks for itself).
9) Going to sleep next to a loved one. Only bettered by the next one.
10) Waking up still cuddled with that one you loved. Realizing that both of you were so comfortable, felt so safe that you hardly moved through the night.
Next time, the 10 worst feelings
1) Rolling over in bed in the morning to cuddle and finding that you are now laying in the results of #2 of the ten best feelings list that has now worked it's way onto the bed.
2) Rolling over in bed in the morning to cuddle and finding that you are now laying in the results of #1 of the ten best feelings list that has now worked it's way onto the bed.
3) A sneeze that keeps sneaking up, but just will not finish, nor will it go away.
4) Your cold, feet are freezing, you crawl into bed and uuughhh, the sheets are messed up. You feet are sticking out the end. No covers, no sheet, nothing. You have to get up, figure out what's wrong with the sheets. Ooops, that wouldn't happen if the bed was made daily would it. I may have just let out a secret.
5) Belching, well have you ever kissed someone who has just belched? Come on admit it. You went ahead and did the kiss because you didn't want to hurt feelings, but man, where's the mouth wash? Or maybe it was the Chi Chi breath?
6) Hmmm, now just imagine Scarlet's face when she realized that there was just a little more to that "vapor" then what she thought. I see the fan in her hand stopping. A sudden wide eyed look coming quickly to her face, but then regaining her composure she walks rather stiffly towards the door.
7) St. Bernard kisses, enough said.
8) Food that you just can't bring yourself to swallow. You can't bring yourself to swallow it, but don't want the embarrassment of spitting it out.
9) Going to sleep next to someone you once loved but no longer care for. Wishing you could explain why.
10) It's a cold morning and you find yourself cuddled to that someone you once loved. Sparking a hope in them that you have got to quell, why? Old habits are hard to break and even harder to explain.
Next week, list of ten most embarrassing moments. Halloween night doesn't even come close.
Randy
1. the cast scratch..... ya know when you're 12 and have a leg/arm/whatever cast and you aren't allowed t o stick things down it, but you get that horrible itching.... and you have to run two flights of stairs to your bedroom and grab the unraveled clothes hanger, shove it down your cast, and fall onto the floor in ecstasy. Anyone who has had a cast knows what i am talking about.
2. When its like 27 degrees outside and you get out of a hot tub. Your body is so warm that the air feels so refreshing. same concept can be achieved if you stay in a hot bath long enough.
3. Now this one is a rare occurrence..... When you are sooooo dead tired you can't even think, and then finally you lay down. Its that moment.....that split-second when your head firsts hits the pillow and feels like the softest thing ever made. Ahhhhhh
4. This may just be me, but when you are really really sick all night. You finally throw up (which would be on my ten worst list) but right afterwards there is that sense of unbelievable peace and relief, and you can finally lay down and sleep.....
5. When you are swinging really high.... that moment your butt leaves the swing and you soar through the air. Again anyone who has ever done this knows...for those few seconds you're actually flying.....
6. This may just be me as well, but whenever someone i like says something sexy or says just the right thing i get this really strong tingle that shoots through my body. I like that feeling.
7. chocolate cake.....hehehe
